June 2012
teapayne:
joke is on you mom you can’t ground me from the friends I don’t have and social events I was never invited to participate in
benditlikebolin:
imagine a world where people actually listened to tenzin
fr3aksh0ww:
becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
unsexual:
in italian everything sounds like you can eat it when you say cassonetto stupro u might think its a special pasta but in fact it means dumpster rape
To bet or not to bet on the Euro’s
Pros and cons of masturbating
tavrosnitramsmassivebonebulge:
bruce-will-i-is:
flyinether:
bruce-will-i-is:
Pros:
It feels like ur having sex
u r having sex with urself so u already know what to do
It’s good to build muscular strength
if u eat ur cum u have an extended life span
Cons:
jesus judges u
i coughed and choked on chips.
Jesus is choking on your sins with every laugh this stuff is srs
i’m a sinner...
(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
why cant americans just use celsius it’s so much easier to spell than feiehreirheineiheit
do you mean degrees of FREEDOM
pricksatmywindow:
at my funeral when they’re lowering me into the ground i demand they play drop it like its hot
Life was better when everyone thought i was dumb
There is no "U" in awesome.
sodamnrelatable:
But there is a ‘me’.
via sodamnrelatable
parent: why hasn't ____ been round lately? i thought you were friends
me: well they turned into a cunt
Let's play a game. It's called: Find Luna.
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This task seems to straight forward, for an english assessment. Where is the overly complicated part of it?
How do you make holy water?
nooowestayandgetcaught:
actinoutloud:
badwolfcomplex:
catholicfemininegenius:
Take ordinary water and boil the hell out of it.
This is the best joke.
I FUCKING LOVE THIS JOKE.
Watchmotchull:
jonopoly:
here we go
christ
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what an absolute prick, what i did for you, fucking everything, thats real low, so angry, cant use proper engrish or grammmar,fuckfuckfuckfuck, what is it with people and pissing me off right now arghh
